© Matthew Emmons-USA TODAY Sports
What if every player in the NFL was up for grabs? If you’ve ever played Madden, you may have realized this scenario, not through free agency, but in a fantasy snake draft. In that spirit, ESPN pooled the collective minds of 32 of its NFL team reporters for a four-round snake draft.
Reporters were given the parameters that the rest of the team would have average-level NFL talent and was asked, “to draft with intentions of winning a Super Bowl within five years,” as well as to draft one QB, one non-QB offensive player, a defensive player, and one player regardless of position.
The results, given that reporters are expected to have some — at the very least — semblance of an understanding about the value of NFL players, and how team-building works, were jarring. The first pick, as it should have been, was Patrick Mahomes. Yet, Drew Lock was the 15th player drafted, and that’s just one the earliest head-scratching decisions made in the 128-player draft.
There were myriad other strange ones, like Kansas City Chiefs beat reporter Adam Teicher drafting Dalvin Cook and Nick Chubb back-to-back and taking zero defensive linemen, because apparently it’s the 1980s, and also, who needs a pass rush? Hint: the Chiefs did… you know, when they won the Super Bowl last year.
49ers beat reporter Nick Wagoner seemed to be one of the draft participants with a sensible idea of how to construct an NFL team, finding George Kittle at 31, Myles Garrett at 34, Jameis Winston at 95 and Grady Jarrett at 98. Two stud defensive linemen, an offensive weapon, and a quarterback, who under Kyle Shanahan and following offseason LASIK eye surgery, could maybe, theoretically, be a serviceable option.
In total, four 49ers players were drafted. Nick Bosa went 10th, behind his older brother, Joey, who went seventh. Jimmy Garoppolo was 19th, and the 15th quarterback selected… directly after Teddy Bridgewater. Again, not much of this process made sense. Kittle went 31st and the last 49er to be drafted was Trent Williams, at 66, by Redskins reporter John Keim.